STOP WITH MEXICAN "CUISINE" ALREADY!!

Okay people, why do we love Mexican food? Not because it's fancy, or has endless culinary possibilities. No. We love it because it is spicy, cheesy, wonderfully flavorful, and just easy and good to eat. There's nothing better than a taco and enchilada plate at a decent Mexican restaurant complete with beans & rice and some chips and salsa for starters. Give me a deep-fried shredded beef taco and a cheese enchilada combo plate at Macayo's any day! Heaven!

So a few years back I went with a friend to El Jefe's here in Las Vegas. He swore up an down about how terrific the place was and just how much he loved it. I was glad to accompany him and must be sure to thank him again for the free meal as he sprung for me. For starters they brought us out some chips and as I recall a bean dip that was quite good and enjoyable, a step up from the usual chips and salsa. So far so good. Then I opened the menu. Uh oh, this is not Macayo's - or any typical Mexican restaurant for that matter. This was "gourmet" Mexican food. I knew I was in trouble...

I've always enjoyed a good enchilada plate and so I opted for the enchi's. Upon receiving my dish I had to do a double take. Had I been unknowingly sedated and secretly moved to a French bistro for lunch? All I did know was that these things didn't look like Enchilada's what with the pale yellow-orangish sauce with a white drizzle back and forth down each of them. Surely this is not Mexican food!

I took a bite and cringed at the idea that someone dare call this over-the-top poseur an enchilada. And logically speaking - if the dish bears no resemblance to it's ethnic root or at least it's Americanized accepted form - can it really be called "Mexican food"?? Surely this atrocity could not be classified as such. So I reluctantly partook of the impostor dish while dreaming of my sloppy, predictably low-brow enchilada plate at Macayo's complete with rice and those yummy frijoles refritos. My next bite of gourmet Mexican cuisine brought me back to the disappointing culinary experience at hand. The worst travesty of all was that I found myself more than satisfied to be done eating. Not full, not "hit the spot", just being done was good enough.

So today while working a physicians trade show at the Venetian hotel, I had the distinct opportunity to take in lunch somewhere on the property courtesy of the company. Being that we had only an hour, it had to be fast and not overly expensive (think I counted several Wolfgang Puck eateries within the Venetian/Palazzo). We found a place called Dos Caminos that was advertised as Mexican food. Upon entering the restaurant, it appeared we had ended up in a high end steakhouse or sushi joint as opposed to a Mexican cantina. It was impeccably decorated with the latest in dining furnishings, wall art, lighting, etc. Beautiful place inside, the experience and ambiance were absolutely terrific. But there's one slight problem with all of that - I could care less!! After all, I'm here for Mexican food for crying out loud! Our waitress, errr.. "server", asked if we wanted guacamole - which we affirmed - and it was no better than what my wife makes. Oh and by the way, it cost $18. Yeah, $18 for about 6 ounces of guac! So we savored our grossly overpriced guac and waited for the chicken enchis. They soon came out in their artistic splendor - one rojo the other verde with a thin, curvy line of sour cream carefully strewn the length of each enchilada. Like the interior of the place, the presentation was superb; but how would they taste? I eagerly took a bite of the verde roll and, as I unfortunately expected, found it nearly inedible. Dry, nearly cheeseless, and stuffed with oodles of dark meat; this culinary concoction no more resembled an enchilada than a hamburger does pizza. Needless to say, I struggled to choke down 3/4 of it and focused my attention more on the tolerable guac and chips & salsa. After my third coke and stuffed on chips, I was happy to be leaving. But my colleague was not - he received a $72 bill for the both of us - for guac, 2 enchilada plates and 2 sodas. I would pay half that at Macayo's and been blissfully satisfied.

My advice: just say NO to anything with the words "gourmet", "cuisine", "fine" and "Mexican" in the same sentence. Stick to the old Mexican restaurants you know and love - or to your local "ethnic" taco shop - and you'll be glad you did.